Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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