you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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