please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
