My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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