Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Randomize
