U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
