so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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