god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Can I color on your dick again?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
