I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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