I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
