So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
