Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
