Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
