break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
