do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
