I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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