i don't like sucking hair
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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