I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
