we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
