i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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