so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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