They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
