i just had sex bonerless
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
