If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
