My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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