I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
