im having a threesome with these popsicles
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
