I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
