Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
