i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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