I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
