8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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