Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
