we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
