I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
