I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she smelled like a LAN party
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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