I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
