Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
