Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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