Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it's great music for shaving your balls
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
