Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
