3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
