i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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