im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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