after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
