God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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