I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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