i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
