how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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