my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
