apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
