Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
